I’ve been adding more diverse books to my kid’s shelves. He loves books, I love books, everyone is happy.
So tonight, we read Black All Around by Patricia Hubbell.
It’s a lovely book, highly recommend.
Lately, when reading before bed, Cole has a question about something on what feels like every single page. His curiosity is inspiring. I swear it’s endearing. No. Really, I LOVE being interrupted every four seconds.
So then we get to this page:
My Brain: Ohhhhhhhhh no. You know whats going to…..
Cole: Mommy, why is there a hole where her tooth should be?
Brain: QUICK! DANGER! MAKE SOMETHING UP!
My Mouth: Well, you see how my teeth are big? And yours are little? When you get bigger, your little teeth will fall out to make room for big kid teeth!
Cole: Extremely Distressed Facial Expression
Brain: What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you. That was soooo not age appropriate. Tell him you’re being silly.
Mouth: But you know what’s fun??? When you lose a tooth, you get to put it under your pillow and the Tooth Fairy will come and get it and leave you money!
Brain: HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT MONEY IS FOR, YOU RELENTLESS FOOL.
Cole: But she won’t come to my house. I don’t want to lose my teeth!
Brain: Okay, this is fine, just tell him he won’t lose his teeth and stick a really sturdy pin in this conversation.
Mouth: No way! It’s okay! It’s just part of getting bigger! You’ll have big boy teeth like Daddy!
Cole: On the verge of tears. I don’t want to get big. I don’t want to lose my teeth. I want to stay little. I don’t want to eat any more food!
Mouth: B… well…. s….
Brain: Yeah. This is definitely what you get when you regularly guilt trip your kid into eating his dinner by telling him it’s how he’ll get bigger like Daddy.
Mouth: But you have to keep eating! That’s how you get energy to play with your friends! I’ll totally send a message to the Tooth Fairy and tell her you want to keep your teeth. Does that help?
My Fingers: Rapidly texting husband that I’ve ruined everything.
Mouth: Dear Tooth Fairy, Cole would like to keep his teeth. No need to stop by here! Ever! Love, Tessa. There, all done, do you feel better?
Cole: Uh huh.
Brain: Phew. Well done!
Fingers: Turn page. Picture of a dark closet.
Cole: Hey Mommy, are there monsters in her closet?
Brain: FOR THE LOVE